How To Get Unstuck Emotionally And Mentally
This period of time in history is full of challenges for all of humanity. The landscape of the world as we know it has been turned on its head sideways, and as we begin to peer out from this altered perspective, we immediately see with visual acuity all that we need to change about ourselves, and about our environment.
So please be careful with one another. Be careful with yourself. There are extreme energy changes pulsing through the universe at every level and, of course, we are all part of the process and the collective growing pains. Remind yourself regularly—you are not being singled out and you are definitely not alone in all of this. Each of us holds a grain of sand in our very capable hands to once again rebuild Fantastica.
Explore Your Purpose
Old paradigms have shifted and shattered. Our Ivory Tower may have fallen. We sit quietly in the stillness just before the sunrise, like the phoenix listening to the wind blow. Laying in the smoldering ashes, crumble and rubble, just before taking flight again lighting up the dark, early morning sky. We remind ourselves that all is not for naught.
Due to our current and very intense surroundings, it can be incredibly challenging to maintain a positive attitude and a measure of faith, especially when we are in the midst of such difficulties. In our evolution, we tend to think that if the universe loves us we will experience that love in the form of continuous positive circumstances. One, right after the other. When in actuality, we continue to evolve into higher states of awareness of our true capacity and potential.
Like a child, the universe is gentle and lovingly coercing us to choose more for ourselves while we are here, reminding us of our soul contracts with others, and to be better versions of ourselves always. The universe is our wise mother who knows what our soul needs in order to thrive, better than we could possibly imagine for ourselves in this lifetime. The universe knows why we came, and assists us to remember too.
Just as a young child does not benefit from getting everything she wants immediately, we also benefit from times of constriction and difficulty to help us grow and learn. If we keep this in mind, and continue to trust that we are loved and guided even when things are hard, it helps us bear the difficult time with grace.
If we continue to meditate and keep our connection with our angels, ancestors, and galactic guides of light, you’ll know they are directing and guiding us every step of the way. To receive their guidance, direction or information, we need to check in and ask for what we need. Through our meditation, we continue to keep our connection without getting lost in the struggle of this third dimensional reality.
Let Go Of The Past
It also helps if we remember that life is one phase after another and that these difficult times will inevitably give way to something new and different. When we feel overwhelmed we can comfort ourselves with the wise saying: This too shall pass.
At the same time, if you truly feel that nothing is going right for you, it's never a bad idea to examine your life and see if there are some immediate changes you can make to alleviate some of the difficulty that stands in your way every day. How could things become simpler? What are you still gripping onto that needs to fall away? How could you relieve your frustrations and help alleviate your pains? What are you resisting, and willing to give up for such freedom?
It's important to take stock of what is going on and find out if there is something we are doing or not doing that is keeping us stuck. Sometimes the situation is out of our control, and we need to look within to find the patience required to wait with equanimity until things move forward again. Many times, though, we can find the source of our stagnation in our own hearts and minds. Sometimes we are clinging to old ideas about reality and we need to make adjustments that will bring us back in tune with life, so we can flow again. Sometimes we find that fear of change is what's keeping us stuck, and we can resolve to find ways of facing that fear.
Gently and compassionately explore the areas which give you the most trouble. May this intentionality reveal things that you have been holding onto and need to release, such as: unprocessed emotions, unresolved transitions, or negative ways of looking at yourself or your reality.
If introspection does not provide the answers you need, it can sometimes be helpful to ask those around you if they notice anything obvious that you might not be able to see. Remember to ask someone whom you can trust to be kind and sensitive as well as honest. Try to let go of your resistance because whenever there is something we can't see ourselves, it's because we don't want to see it. Try to listen with an open mind, and remember that you are always the final judge of what you need. Anything offered to us from an outside source will need to be processed and integrated before its wisdom can take hold.
As you begin to take responsibility for the things you can change, and choose differently, you begin to create a paradigm shift in your life. Open your hands and your heart and begin asking and reaching for the things you really want. You will more easily surrender to things you cannot change, remembering all the while that this phase will, without doubt, give way to another transition of time. Keep in perspective that you may be at the bottom of the ferris wheel right now, but you will eventually roll up to the top, with that gorgeous and amazing view you’ve been working so hard towards, spilled out before you. Don’t give up until you do.
Change Your Perspective
In order to move forward and make progress towards your most abundant life, you have to get out of your own way and allow yourself to let it happen.
The first step in allowing yourself to thrive is releasing yourself from the feeling of being stuck. When you feel stuck, you hurt your chances of succeeding by mentally stopping yourself from taking the steps towards progress.
And since the feeling of stuckness is so ingrained in your thinking, you may not even know that you are your own reason for not making progress. This causes resentment towards other parts of your life, and growing resentment towards yourself and the thing you’re trying to achieve.
Start With Small Changes
It shouldn’t be a surprise to you that this is a common problem with most people. When we feel stuck, it can be helpful to let go of our resistance to the change that wants to come forth. You may be committing self-sabotage, fear-led decisions, and taking actions to simply survive and not thrive without even knowing it.
In all this, be kind to yourself and remember that we all get stuck sometimes. Think of it as a part of your process, a necessary step on your journey, rather than as a problem that shouldn't be happening. This can help to keep your frustration at bay and give you the space you need to take a deep breath and really figure out what's going on.
So many of the people I see in my practice get "stuck" at some point...stuck in a pattern, a habit, a coping mechanism that isn't helping them, in a routine, in an unhappy relationship, in a place, in a job they dislike, in a way of thinking, etc. In fact, everyone gets "stuck" in something at some point in life. It can be during a transitional phase or during a time when we are feeling emotionally low or more isolated than usual. It is digging out of the hole we created for ourselves and getting "unstuck" that is the challenge for people when this occurs. Why can it be so difficult to make new, positive changes stick when we are in a rut?
Effective Change Takes Time
One conflict is time. It takes time to allow for or to create change. In order to have the discipline, patience, and focus, as we start on a path towards positive change, it takes more time than we might be used to in this age of immediate gratification and lightning fast technology. We have to learn to slow down a bit and make the time we need to in a realistic way for the necessary changes to happen in our lives. We must not be discouraged if our progress is steady, but at more of a snail's pace than we'd hoped.
Stop Perpetuating The Blame
Another issue I frequently observe is that many people don't feel truly worthy of positive and healthy changes in their lives. They hold grudges against and judge themselves, thinking that they must continue to struggle and suffer as a sort of "penance" for the prior mistakes they have made in their lives, as if they are not deserving of happiness. The reality is everyone deserves to be healthy and happy. Everyone is worthy of self-love and love from others. We must learn to accept ourselves, flaws and all, to stop judging ourselves and running negative "tapes" in our heads, and to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes. This is the truest way to be healthier, happier, and more fulfilled in our lives permanently.
Take Breaks When Necessary
Another thing that seems to sabotage a lot of people's progress is that they set their goals way too high all at once in the beginning and/or lose patience at the amount of progress they are making slowly over time with such aggressive goals. When, in reality, we have to understand that making small steps in progress toward our overall goal a little bit at a time. It is also important to be "real" with ourselves and set goals we know we will be committed to and will be able to attain, even if it means asking for additional help and support, or taking more time if we need it. We can't expect everything to go our way or to happen overnight. So, hoping for the best, while simultaneously being prepared for challenges that we may need to face, and also being patient and gentle with ourselves, is a great way to approach any type of change.
Be Patient With Your Progress
Some people are ashamed when they don't make the immediate progress that they hoped to achieve, and so they begin to lie or gloss over the truth, with themselves or others, which means they reach a dangerous place of living in denial. This form of escape can actually set you back further away from your intended goals, create more problems that you will need to deal with later anyway, and cause new, unhealthy habits you didn't ever expect to occur. Honesty with yourself and others is the best policy when approaching change. It may be difficult to be honest at first, as the truth can hurt or be scary. But, in the long run, honesty makes everything so much easier and simpler, especially when you are also willing to take responsibility for and own the negative or unhealthy thoughts and behaviors you created in your life.
Dig Emotionally Deep
Stop playing the role of victim and look at what you have done to create and live in your own situation. Sure, other people may also be accountable on some level. But, if you have chosen to continue to hide from or escape the truth of what part you have played in your current situation, you have hurt yourself and may even be enabling the negative/unhealthy habits of those around you.
Focus On Your Own Changes
Remember, you unfortunately can't change anyone else or force someone to change out of unhealthy thought patterns or behaviors against his or her will. Just like you, everyone else only makes healthy changes when fully ready to do so. We can't nag or control/manipulate anyone else into thinking or processing the way that we do or into treating himself/herself better. Just because you are making these transformations for the better in your own life, don't expect everyone else to do so. It is a bonus if your efforts and progress inspire someone else. But, we can't force change on anyone. So, we must accept and love others as they are, respecting their choices, while simultaneously honoring ourselves and our own needs.
You may want to ask yourself some important questions both before you begin to make healthy changes in your life. Here are a few to get you thinking and working things out mentally and emotionally before you take action:
Why do I want to change? Am I doing this for myself, others or both?
What might be the long term benefits of these changes? How about the short term benefits?
Will this make my life healthier and happier?
Who can I turn to when I need support while I am making these changes?
If I get scared/uncomfortable or if old feelings/habits sneak up when positive changes start to happen in my life, what will I use as a strategy to cope with these feelings/actions in a healthier way than I used to? (In other words, come up with a healthy habit here to replace an old, unhealthy habit.)
What strengths do I already have that I can rely on while I am making these changes? What are the things I already like or love about myself?
If I start to feel unworthy or judgemental of myself during this process, what can I do or tell myself to help stop it before it sabotages my progress towards happiness?
Do I have any role models/mentors that I can aspire to and learn from who have made these types of changes in their own lives? What can those people teach me?
What is a reasonable and realistic time frame for me to reach my first small goal in these changes?
How can I reward myself (not with food or alcohol/drugs/tobacco, etc....but with something healthy that encourages the good habit to continue) when I reach my first small goal?
How much time can I realistically spend on these changes every day?
What are some of the things, like thought patterns, behaviors, people, situations, etc., that I need to let go of in order to help these positive changes happen?
Change usually takes time. Just to change and replace one unhealthy habit into a new, healthy habit, can take over a month of effort of repetition before it sticks with you. Don't get discouraged...and if you do, make sure you created a back-up plan for yourself, so you don't slide back into those old habits and patterns on a bad day.
The more positive support and encouragement you have with yourself through this process, the more successful you will become. It can also help to speak with a trusted friend, therapist or healer, or even find a support group to help you through the transition and fear that often accompanies big change. A support system can help you to succeed and reach your goals, even when there are bumps in the road along the way.
Being emotionally unstuck comes down to taking action and holding yourself more responsible for what you do. Take all the time you need to get unstuck. This is all part of your journey for more soul expansion, growth and freedom.
This piece was written and contributed by:
Soul Liberation & Embodiment Guide
Andrea Firpo is a Psychic Cheerleader who is focused on soul liberation and embodiment. Combining her psychic and intuitive abilities with her educational background of trauma psychology, she connects women to their own inner wisdom and self-love. By bringing awareness in the body, mind, and spirit around the deep conditioning of emotional trauma, Andrea identifies underlying patterns that undermine her clients’ self-worth. Through simple yet powerful healing tools, Andrea empowers her clients to achieve energetic balance through healthy boundaries, promoting incredible paradigm shifts in their lives.
Andrea is also an author who has contributed to the anthologies, Dreamweavers, Ceremonies, and the recent #1 Amazon International Bestseller, The Art & Truth of Transformation for Women. As a show host and producer, she highlights the stories and lessons of remarkable women overcoming traumatic events in her podcast, "Brilliance through Resilience." She lives with her family in Portland, Oregon and works with clients internationally.