What are bad days, really?
Can we actually have bad days? Good days can be considered a series of good moments. So, a bad day could technically be considered a series of ‘bad’ moments. But where is the line drawn between a series of bad moments and assigning the entire day as bad?
Learning to decipher the two takes practice, but you can get there. I recently had an experience where I realized just how important this thought process is. Thought and emotions can actually aid in influencing our daily life.
My Bad Moment
I took my dog to get groomed. It didn’t turn out as planned and I was left completely distressed. I had a few choices: to either find a solution or stay in complete anger because things didn’t go as expected. I chose to find a solution.
As I was in line to pay I was chatting with another customer and I told her what happened. She instantly assumed I was having a bad day. When I told her I wasn’t, that it was only a bad moment she was so surprised. I guess she never thought to look at it another way.
You see, when assessing the situation as a whole, I was able to realize that no, I was not having a bad day. It was simply a bad moment. Acknowledging this allowed me to work through that stress and then continue on with my day—rather than letting it fester and ruin the rest of the day.
The woman looked at me and said, “Oh my god, you are right. I’m going to use that!” And I’m so glad that I told her that.
My mind-shift aided someone else in taking a different perspective on how to approach moments in our life. Which had me thinking, do we really walk around with the perception that once one badly-perceived moment makes the entire day inherently bad? What if we really sat down with awareness and looked at a situation as just one moment? This does take practice and time to learn. Our society has gotten in the habit of believing that one moment or event is going to make or break everything—it’s become an either-or situation, and not anything for any possibility in between. Life isn’t about that. We can have so much going on at once and one moment doesn’t define the next.
Why can’t you just have a bad moment and then move on? It’s not the end-all-be-all if something doesn’t go as planned. It’s how we handle what has happened that defines the situation. Essentially it’s all about perspective—that’s where we can discern we’re truly discerning if we’re having a bad day; i.e.death, diagnosis, missing dog, and even then there are levels to all of this because like I said it’s perspective.
I was not always like this. I too used to forever dwell on something I felt was ‘bad’ and let it completely ruin my own day with my negative thoughts. So much was lost because I was just mad or stressed. Once I saw this behavior for what it was, I was able to shift it for the better. Yes, I still had bad moments, but I was able to keep going.
Allowing Your Thoughts to Define a Bad Day Can Look Like:
Feeling sorry for yourself
Negative self-talk
Pessimism (only seeing the bad)
Thinking the world is against you
How to Shift Your Perspective
Perspective comes with the awareness of what is going on around you and looking at the situation from another light—perhaps one that is more neutral. Gaining perspective is a big key in helping you shift your mindset.
Notice Your Triggers
What triggers are you noticing? Can you pinpoint and decipher the bad moment that triggered a bad day? How can you be open to the unexpected event/situation you are experiencing?
Notice if you are acting from a wounded place when you’re experiencing these bad days. What issues are you avoiding that are triggering you? When you ignore what bothers you, it festers and well…the rest is history. Let the wound fester long enough and it can turn to dis-ease and more.
Perspective
How do you view your situation at hand? Ask yourself, is this worth all your time and energy? How does the situation look if you remove those trigger-set emotions? How can you view it with neutrality?
Awareness
Remain grounded and aware that when bad situations occur, it’s not happening to you—it could be happening for you..
Create Detachment
Detaching from the bad events or circumstances so you can notice when you’re in the next moment. If you stay in the negative moment, you risk missing a blessing, seeing the beauty, and ultimately you automatically lose a sense of ease.
Yes you can have both bad moments and bad days. This is where it can get a little tricky. The moment we sit in the negative thoughts, or repressed emotions, or even both we create an internal dialogue that can lead towards damaging our state of mind —or even well-being. Opposed to allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling and working through it. You never start out with bad days—and I say this because each day is the chance for something new. For new adventures, miracles, for the chance to live your day to the fullest. And there will always be the times where something happens out of our control. But do you want to know what is within our control? It’s how we handle it. Whatever ‘it” may be. You see you have a choice, you have control, and not all bad things justify labeling it a ‘bad day.”
There are times that I allow myself to have bad days. We are all allowed to. But what’s different (and empowering) is when you try not to stay in the bad day too long.
